Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) works with extinguishing negative communication patterns and simultaneously learning the type of love and loving behaviors that create a satisfying and healthy attachment bond.
"Attachment" between people typically provides a safe haven: a retreat from the world and a way to obtain comfort, security and a buffer against stress. Attachment also offers a secure base, allowing you to feel safe while you explore the world and learn new information. Its formation begins in childhood with a primary caretaker, such as a parent. Those early established patterns carry through to adulthood. Unhealthy patterns cause drama, distress, emotional dysregulation and conflict between partners.
EFT provides a language for healthy dependency between partners and looks at key behaviors and moments that define a healthy love relationship. The primary goal of the model is to expand and re-organize the emotional responses of the couple.
The EFT process reduces couples’ conflict while creating a more secure emotional bond. Couples learn to express deep, underlying emotions from a place of vulnerability and ask for their needs to be met. Partners begin to view undesirable behaviors (i.e., shutting down or angry escalations) as “protests of disconnection.” Couples learn to be emotionally available, empathic and engaged with each other which strengthens the attachment bond and stabilizes the relationship as a safe haven.